Bernice Woodall

Appears in:
Series 1, Series 2, The Christmas Special, Live at Drury Lane, Series 3

Played By:
Reece Shearsmith

Quickie Bio:
A reverend, yet still quite a bitter agony aunt. Definitely a "fire and brimstone" type person. Also teaches youngsters at the local school. She stocks the confessional with cigarettes.

In The Christmas Special, we learn that what lies at the root of her bitterness is the fact that she lost her Mother at Christmas when she was eight. She ultimately meets a similar fate... but not before she has a change of heart, doing a good deed by helping "cure" Dr. Chinnery from his family's curse.

At the beginning of Series 3 we see that Bernice is still missing (she appears on a missing persons flyer), however by the end of Series 3 we know that she is alive and, well, occupied...

Useless Trivia:
  • Bernice is based on Denise Richards, the agony aunt from TV's Richard and Judy.
  • Bernice has the words "love" and "hate" tattooed on her knuckles -- just like Robert Mitchum's Reverend in The Night of the Hunter
  • In the Christmas Special, the scene where Bernice pulls a frozen-in-place bird off of its legs is based on real-life -- Reece's mother saw a lady try to help a sparrow that was stuck in tarmac, but unfortunately the bird came free of its legs. The lady, like Bernice, tried to balance the bird back on its legs and walked off.


  • Quotes:

       Bernice as a child


    back
    Series 1

    Series 2

    The Christmas Special

    Live at Drury Lane

    Series 3
    Barbara Dixon

    Appears in:
    Series 1, Series 2, The Christmas Special, Series 3

    Played By:
    Steve Pemberton (voice only)

    Quickie Bio:
    Owner of Bab's Cabs, Barbara is Royston Vasey's cab driver and resident transsexual awaiting her operation. Looking for love in the wrong places, she misunderstands Benjamin's desire for a cab ride as a desire for a date, with disastrous results. The date of her operation arrives, but unfortunately Dr. Mekos was sidelined by a skiing accident, so her surgery is performed by Dr. Chinnery instead, so needless to say that's a disaster as well. She eventually gets abducted by Tubbs and Edward to be a mate for their son David, with whom she finds momentary happiness before the Local Shop and its inhabitants are burned to the ground. Later, after throwing a rousing genderbender party, she gives birth to David's children -- twins that look alarmingly like their grandparents.

    In The Christmas Special, A Victorian version of Barbara can be seen/heard driving Dr. Edmund Chinnery in a carriage.

    Useless Trivia:
  • Barbara is played by Paul H. Marshall in Series 1 and Series 2
  • In Series 3 Barbara is played by Michael Gallagher (because Paul H. Marshall was ill)
  • Barbara's character is partially based on George/Julia from the "Change of Sex" documentary. Julia is even mentioned by Barbara in Series 1, Episode 3.
  • Barbara is also based on a pre-operative transsexual magician. The magician kept stopping her act to tell the audience about the operation she was going to have.


  • Quotes:
  • I'm a martyr to my monthlies
  • My nipples are like bullets
  • I woke up this morning and my bed's like a butcher's slab




  • back
    Series 1

    Series 2

    The Christmas Special

    Series 3
    Mick McNamara

    Appears in:
    Series 1, Live at Drury Lane

    Played By:
    Mark Gatiss

    Quickie Bio:
    A cave tour-guide at Stump Hole Caverns, you start out thinking that Mick is one of those guides who, after having recited his prepared speech for the 1000th time, lost the ability to add any inflection into his voice. It isn't until later that you discover he has a much deeper, darker reason behind the total blankness of his speech.

    Quotes:
  • Its in the darkness I see the boys face...
  • ...the cold indifference of the ancient rock.




  • back
    Series 1
    Farmer Jed Tinsel

    Appears in:
    Series 1

    Played By:
    Steve Pemberton

    Quickie Bio:
    Although he seems like an innocent victim of Dr. Chinnery's incompetence at the beginning of Series 1 (when he calls upon Dr. Chinnery to put his ailing dog, Blacko, to sleep -- however Chinnery finds the healthy dog, Whiskey, first), we later discover that he's actually has quite the evil side. Farmer Tinsel also allows the local schoolchildren to come to his farm to witness the birth of a calf. Unfortunately, Dr. Chinnery is involved again, and he delivers her liver instead.



    back
    Series 1
    Andrew Ward

    Appears in:
    Series 1

    Played By:
    Mark Gatiss

    Quickie Bio:
    Andrew work(ed) at the local cash & carry. He had an affair with Farmer Tinsel's wife, but Mr. Tinsel found out about it and imprisoned Andrew in a scarecrow in his turnip field. Andrew was trapped for 3 weeks (when we last saw him, at least). The Denton twins know that Andrew is stuck in the scarecrow, but they call him their "special friend" and don't want him to escape. Mrs. Tinsel thinks Andrew deserted her.



    back
    Series 1
    Pamela Doove

    Appears in:
    Series 2, The Christmas Special, Live at Drury Lane, Series 3

    Played By:
    Reece Shearsmith

    Quickie Bio:
    A sweet young woman trying to get work as an actress. The problem is, whenever it comes time to say her lines she shouts them in an unintelligible manner. She tries out for a Greenwoods Orange Juice commercial with director Jed Hunter, who is stunned by her (and I don't necessarily mean that in a good way). Apparently she does get the part, because various characters quote her commercial in Series 3.

    Pam eventually wins other roles as well, including that of a Nazi in Keith Drop's production of The Diary of Anne Frank.

    In the Christmas Special, we learn that Pam (and most of the female population of Royston Vasey) is a member of "Solutions" (although this is revealed in Charlie's dream, so it may not be factual).

    Useless Trivia:
  • Apparently some League members were witness to a bag lady who popped into the shop where they happened to be standing. She shouted Pam's infamous line with Pam's same lack of diction, after which the shopkeepers told her to go next door (the shopkeepers apparently were familiar with the lady and her quest for "aran doove").
  • Personal observation: for what it is worth, when my 2-year old started saying "excuse me" he sounded just like Pam -- my husband and I were completely unable to keep straight faces whenever he said it.


  • Quotes:
  • SKEWED BEEF, HAVE ANY BODY GOT ANY BOKKLE AV ARAN DOOVE?




  • back
    Series 2

    Series 3
    Jed Hunter

    Appears in:
    Series 2, Series 3

    Played By:
    Steve Pemberton

    Quickie Bio:
    A director looking to cast the role of a young girl in a Greenwood's Orange Juice commercial. He is stunned by Pam Doove's acting skills (or lack thereof). He is also less than thrilled with Geoff Tipps' premiere stand-up performance.

    Useless Trivia:
  • Director Jed Hunter's look is based on League of Gentlemen director Steve Bendelack
  • When Jed sees Geoff perform on stage in series 3, the scenes were actually filmed at the Canal Cafe, where the League actually performed every week back when they were trying to break into comedy.




  • back
    Series 2

    Series 3
    Iain Cashmore

    Appears in:
    Series 2

    Played By:
    Steve Pemberton

    Quickie Bio:
    Went to Attachments Dating Agency seeking a date. Seems geeky and lacking in confidence and social graces. Has something dark in his past. He didn't force her...

    Iain can also be seen buying a doggie-porn magazine from Pop's newsstand.



    back
    Series 2
    Olive Kilshaw

    Appears in:
    Series 2

    Played By:
    Reece Shearsmith

    Quickie Bio:
    Works for Attachments Dating Agency, building clients' profiles for use in finding matches. She has a boyfriend (who she did NOT meet at the dating agency).

    Useless Trivia:
  • Just in case you cannot read it, the motto for the dating agency is "Gay, Straight, or Bi, give us a try"


  • Quotes:
  • Miracles can happen, you know!




  • back
    Series 2
    Chris Frost

    Appears in:
    Series 2

    Played By:
    Reece Shearsmith

    Quickie Bio:
    Store detective. Not a very trusting fellow. Doesn't mind disturbing pregnant women or the disabled to search for stolen merchandise. In fifteen years he has saved the stores he has worked for a grand total of £303.64. Is apparently a bit of a shoplifter himself.

    Quotes:
  • Chalk it up.
  • Why is it thus? What is the reason for this thusness?




  • back
    Series 2
    Professor Erno Breastpinch'd

    Appears in:
    Series 3

    Played By:
    Mark Gatiss

    Quickie Bio:
    He's out on the streets of Roytson Vasey asking passers-by questions so he can compile his report -- however he really only has one question -- Do you want your breasts pinched?

    Useless Trivia:
  • The idea for the character arose from an episode of "The Time, The Place" that left an impression on Mark and Reece. The focus of the episode was on the abuse of hypnotism, and a case in point was referred to by the lavender-suited speaker with, "...to cut a long story short, she refused to have her breast pinched."




  • back
    Series 3
    The Mechanic

    Appears in:
    Series 2, Series 3

    Played By:
    Steve Pemberton

    Quickie Bio:
    A mechanic. He encounters Les in full 70's Crème-Brulee gear. He is witness to Les' full realization that he's been tricked. Is also a friend of sorts to Lance in Series 3. He sees Lance's newly transplanted arm in all its feminine glory.



    back
    Series 2

    Series 3



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